[Hi]atus, no more

See what I did there?!

Yes, it has been almost a year to the day that I have last communicated with cyberspace. If it is any consolation, I began a draft of a blog post in February. The intention was there; the timely execution--not so much. That post will come shortly..but surely you've realized, in my absence, that you shouldn't exactly hold your breath.

In the last year, post-undergrad life lessons surfaced that I wished I had been warned about.
WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THESE THINGS?!
Maybe others are not discouraged by these issues, maybe I'm alone in this. Nonetheless, I wrangled through some experiences that you may or may not face. May you heed my warnings and find encouragement.

1--MAINTAINING friendships is DIFFICULT.
Zero people prepared me for how hard it would be to keep friendships after graduation. Yes, I was aware friends would move. However, I was so blindly unaware of the effort needed to keep up communication with loved friends. During college it was so easy. You live on the same hall or building or same town as them, and it wasn't hard to schedule coffee dates or make dinner plans or to even bump into them. But this past year, and definitely now, I am learning that maintaining friendships requires time and sacrifice. It takes time to respond to people's messages beyond the shallow answer; it takes time to schedule when it is best to call/video chat/write letters. And time takes sacrifice. You might have to sacrifice some bedtime or doing something more leisurely. You WILL [not might] sacrifice being there for monumental moments. This is a lesson I am learning too well being 800 miles away from Mississippi. I have missed/will miss out on birthday celebrations {HBD Sara!!!!}, wedding showers, and those seemingly casual but soul-gratifying moments. Maintaining friendships is hard when it seems like the other folks in your life go on without you. But as I am learning, those virtual reunions and conversations are sweet and cherished.

2--BEGINNING friendships is just as difficult.
I am going to jump right into this one: being vulnerable and honest with new people is one hard task.

 It is rough. It is challenging. It is uncomfortable. It is revealing. 

IT IS NECESSARY.

I was not prepared for making new friendships. I wish my university offered "Making friends after graduation 101." I definitely need(ed) it. No one warned me of just how easy it would be to hole up and not make new friends. I might have mastered it. If you want to know all about that, I'm your gal. But back in April I was, then, inadvertently advised for the daunting task of making new friends. My friends and I were going through Restless by Jennie Allen this past Spring and her honesty about friendships has proven correct: "Great conversations come from great questions and honest answers...It takes initiative to ask deeper questions and sheer bravery to give sincere answers." Friendships may be built on shallow commonalities, but they are most definitely sustained by being susceptible to those daring questions that require revealing the dark truths about ourselves or self-evaluation. But the Lord puts people in our life for seasons or for a lifetime for encouragement or admonition as sisters [or brothers] in Christ. If we do not know each other beyond those shallow commonalities, then how can you be exhorted or challenged. And as mentioned above, building deep friendships takes time--but the reward is well worth it. 

 

3--Balancing a budget is the PITS! 

Confession: My momma warned me that balancing a budget was necessary and hard. 

However, Momma, you didn't go into depth on how hard it would be. Guys, I'm telling you now, if you don't know this already, but balancing a budget isn't just hard but one of the most miserable things I've ever done. Balancing a budget requires intimate knowledge of your expenditures and strict dedication to keep your goals. But worse than that, you see how frivolous you are with your money. I was disgusted with my W-2 forms this tax year and how careless I had been. And more than that, it's not your money, it is God's gift and provision for you. I, wholeheartedly, believe that once you grasp that your money is not yours, you will alter your expenditures and plan for saving. Whether you use advice from financial gurus or savvy apps on your phones to keep track and maintain your budget, set a budget that is first pleasing and glorifying to God.

4--Finding a new community of believers is not easy peasy. 

This past year, I continued to attend the church I was involved with my senior year of college. But now as a resident of a new city, I am starting over. Finding a new church that you believe will allow you to best serve the body, the community, and the nations is not an easy feat. It is so easy to compare the church you are visiting with to the church you grew up in or previously attended. But that is not how it works. As Teddy Roosevelt is attributed with saying: "Comparison is the thief of joy." That truth resonates too well with me...especially in my current phase of life. I cannot get caught up in comparing churches here in Wake Forest or Raleigh with Pinelake or FABC. It will lead me to misery and disappointment. What I can compare it to is the Bible. In addition to the uneasiness of finding a new community to plug into, let's just go ahead and add being single to that. "Test driving" new churches with friends or a spouse is one thing, but doing that alone adds to the difficulty. It would be extremely easy for me to cop out and not attend a church but just watch one via simulcast, but that is selfish and denies the church of my gifts. Once again, Jennie Allen boldly challenged me in Restless--"To hide our gifts, or to deny them...it is taking from God, his church, and a world that needs to see the expression of God you bring."  Thus, whether you are single or married and new to a town, seek Guidance on where to use your gifts and be in community.

///Each of these are four life lessons I wished someone warned me about {or the severity of number 3}. Learning these from scratch have been challenging but life without challenges isn't rewarding. But do not get me wrong, I have not mastered ANY of these lessons. They are all works in progress and am daily reminded of them. Moreover, I am daily reminded that they are petitions I can bring to a loving Father who desperately wants His daughter to rely on Him for everything and find joy in Him alone.\\\