patience

This weekend was slightly historic for me. It marked the official end of my undergraduate degree. It was a day of sweet reunions and "see you laters." I never imagined myself getting teary-eyed at my own graduation, but I found myself gazing from family and friends during the prayer (he had just mentioned thanksgivings to those who helped us) and getting emotional. Nonetheless, it was a day of pure joy. I was surrounded by those who have prayed over and with me, those who kept me sane, and those who unrelentingly loved on me during my collegiate journey.

Looky looky at my family

Roomies4lyfe

Got to graduate with these beauties

After graduation I was finally able to cross off another bucket item. I have always admired tattoos and wanted some of my own. As a teenager, I kept threatening my parents that I would get them when I turned 18 since I would not need their consent. However, my dad made the stipulation that I was to wait until I was out from his roof before I could get tattoos. Naively I assumed he literally meant out from his roof. Thus I hoped to get them when I went off to college. But he made it clear that he meant out from all financial support. Luckily, last Christmas break, he slipped up and said I could get them when I graduated college. Thus, I wasted no time getting between graduation and a wedding. You're probably thinking, them?! Yes, I got more than one. And patience paid off because I like them a whole bushel and a peck.

And here's the story behind the two.

 This is actually a snip-it from my very first blog post ----{James 4:14 "You don't even know what tomorrow will bring-what your life will be! For you are a bit of smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes."  While a stranger to the Good News might think that verse is insane, I find complete comfort in it. My 20 years of life has had some rough and smooth parts but compared to eternity, it is nothing! My life that I sometimes consider boring or hard or joyful is like snapping your fingers. The 'bit of smoke' in the verse is translated as a 'mist'..hence the title of the blog..a mist of a life.  When considering the two months that I will be gone--who knows what I'll be doing, who(m) I'll be coming into contact with, or when this body of mine flies Home? My God knows the answer to each of these questions. Each of them have troubled me in this process since I loveeee to plan everything out. However, I must daily deny and carry the cross and forget about these meaningless issues.}------Thus, MIST has been an influential part of my life for the past three years. The word is not only how I began this blog but gave me a new look on life. It's on my dominant hand because it will be something that I'll see each time I open a door, write notes, or use utensils. I will not be able to one day without knowing that my life but a bit of smoke. 

The second one also derives from James 1:2-4 "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."  How on earth can I consider trials with joy? Why on earth should I? Because without trials [big or small], our faith will not grow. There must be maturation of the faith. Moreover, joy doesn't come from circumstances or people like happiness. Happiness is fleeting. JOY only comes from God and does not leave when the troubles occur; thus I should have infinite joy. It should be a joy to face these trials, tribulations, and persecutions because we do not face these alone but our God stands with us.

misery loves company

At church Easter Sunday, my pastor asked me what I was doing for the summer. I told him work. Work is nothing out of the ordinary for me. Well during the summer it is. This is my first summer that I'm not working a camp or traveling abroad. It is also my first summer in Mississippi since freshman year (bless it). I also told him that I do not know what will hold for me after summer. In paraphrase, he was commenting how it's my first time that I don't know my next step and how weird this must be for me....especially considering I graduate Saturday. Yikes!

Little does he know how weird it is. I always figured by now I would be engaged or nearing engagement (thank you society for setting that dumb stereotype) or at least say with confidence what my post-graduation plans were. Yet, that's not my case. Here's my case: Come May 13th I'm living with 3 other great gals until July and working my pincushion off to pay the unfortunately acquired student loans looking for how the Lord wants me serve my community. One day at a time prayerfully looking for my next step. Feel free to join me in the prayer of this psalm of guidance and wisdom.

Make Your ways known to me, Lord;
teach me Your paths.

Guide me in Your truth and teach me,
for You are the God of my salvation;
I wait for You all day long.

-psalm 25.4-5 

Along with me on this journey of uncertainty has been some wonderful friends: friends who are my traveling companions on this trek, others who have been in this situation, others who are providing me with words of encouragement and offering prayers for me. Needless to say, these handful of friends have made this blurry journey not so miserable and lonely. Thus, for me, the saying "misery loves company" is true. It has been this company to keep me focused and steadfast in the Lord's sovereignty. 

one bucket at a time.

Terrible blogger I know--i have all these blog posts running through my brain but haven't put thought to keyboard. So i apologize for the number of blogs coming out within the next week.

Originally this post was scheduled to release nearly a month ago...so lets pretend like it's April 13th.

This past weekend I had the joy of crossing the finish line of the hardest yet most exhilarating race of my life. As previously mentioned, I have been in training for a half marathon. That's 13.1 miles if you're wondering. I am not sure of the exact date I made "run half-marathon" a bucket list item, but I know that I wanted to run a half-marathon prior to graduating college.

It was a weekend of mixed emotions. I did not felt adequate to run since I only trained for a total of seven weeks (which is not looked upon highly). I pulled my back the weekend prior. And my sinuses have been messing up since January. But I have had this goal and was not backing down. I was slightly emotional prior to picking up my packet because with life's recent events and uncertainties, it felt good to be accomplishing a goal. It was something I have not been able to do in awhile.

To join me in the race was a dear friend, Jenelle. I randomly asked her one day if she wanted to run the half marathon with me and she willingly said yes. There was no begging on the knees or twisting of the arms. Neither of us realized the totality of what we were getting ourselves in. And that's for the best. If I knew how elated and joyful I would be as I crossed the finish line, there would not be as much excitement.

Nonetheless, Jenelle and I woke up at a ridiculous time to run through various districts of Jackson, painfully endure through what was labeled "gentle rolling hills," and end with gracious volunteers and strangers cheering us onward to the finish line. To make the bucketlist moment all the more special was my parents. They trekked over to see us commence the race and round the last corner of the race.

So if you think you can't run--don't believe it. Prove yourself wrong and gradually work your way up. A baby cannot instantly run. He must crawl and then walk. But even then, he will fall in the process. You too will fall and have bad days and struggle through a quarter of a mile, but if you keep working at it, you'll be able to accomplish what you set your mind to! Moreover, it's the same for our spiritual walk. Sanctification. Someone cannot magically do spiritual practices perfectly without working at it. Sanctification is a journey. One that has mountain tops and valley lows.