Fourscore and seven years ago minus fourscore

If you did the math correctly in the title, then you would come out with seven years. I mainly like the sound of that famous phrase coined by Ab Lincoln. Nonetheless, seven years ago was not only when Katrina butchered the Mississippi Gulf Coast and ripped homes from foundations, it was also the last days of my Maw-maw.

If you've read my blog or know me personally, you'd know that I usually do not talk about my late grandmother. It is not because I don't miss her because, believe me, I miss each of my grandparents who are no longer present on this fallen earth. I guess the only way to sum it up is that I miss her so much it hurts. Even now as I write this as a twenty-one year confident of her eternal dwellings, I cannot help but weep over reminiscing the memories I shared with my grandmother and the memories I've had to make without her.

As Isaac veered towards the Gulf Coast nearly identical to Katrina, I could not help but remember the last few days of my Maw-maw. Moreover, the L0rd reminded me of the lessons I learned through her passing from this sinful earth to the Streets of Gold. He used a Casting Crowns song seven years ago to remind me to praise HIM even in the storms...quite literally! Seven years later [now], He uses another song to remind me that even in the struggles I am to joyfully shout He is Faithful and even through it ALL He is with us!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

"'And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter, to be with you forever.'" John 14:16

Below is the song He used this week to remind me of His faithfulness:

"Never Once" by Matt Redman

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful

You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful
You are faithful, G0d, You are faithful 

This beautiful woman is now made perfect---"For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are sanctified." Hebrews 10:14---and boy I cannot wait to join by her side and worship together at the throne of our Great L0rd. But for now I remember her delicious biscuits and pot roasts, our mornings watching the Price Is Right during summer and school breaks, her loud smuckery kisses to my cheeks, impeccable style, and unfailing love for each of her children, grandchildren, and friends--an unfailing love that is a reflection of her love for her Maker.

--Myself (obviously at a much younger age) with my Maw-maw. 

the art, joy, privilege

So I am back in America and adjusting to life post-Serbia. People ask how my summer was and it's terribly difficult to sum up eight and a half weeks into a few words to keep people's attention. But I must say that the one thing that the L0rd continued to teach me throughout the summer was how unnecessary I am.

Unnecessary?! Ha, yeah I had the same reaction. But that is the overarching theme of my summer. Before you jump to conclusions, you must let me tell the whole story. Let's begin.

One day Amy and I went to the Roma village for VBS with the volunteer team and finally made it (late) after several bus mishaps. Once arriving, we were told that we were not needed to go with them on their outing. Not the words I wanted to hear after a treacherous bus trip and with children I had been loving on--not needed, unnecessary. I felt like I had to right to be frustrated and upset. Praise Him for His sovereignty--that same day I opened up a card from a dear friend who wrote it back in early March, completely unaware of what I might face, and encouraged me to continue to praise Him in the hard times. Though I was unnecessary and not needed, my attitude and reflection should be praiseworthy of His glorious name.

Through this conviction, He began to show me that unnecessary is not necessarily (nice play on words hehe) a bad thing. In fact, it is for the best! I am unnecessary for my own plans. His are already planned; They are perfect; They are for my benefit. They are abundant. Those are the promises He makes for us. Furthermore, I am unnecessary for the growth of salvation.

"'For I know the plans have for you'-this is the L0rd's declaration-'plans for welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11
"'A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance.'" John 10:10
"So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only G0d who gives the growth." 1 Corinthians 3:7

If I were to make my own on plans and be in charge, then it would be lifeless, miserable, selfish and result in death. But praise G0d that He has made a way for Life!

Likewise with my summer in Belgrade, if I were necessary for His work then it would not give Him the full glory and praise. Being unnecessary allowed for Him to be in control and work miracles in peoples' lives. Being unnecessary allowed for me to see just how sovereign He is and how gloriously majestic the work can be. I was not necessary for the work I did this summer, but He allowed me to be apart of it just to get a taste of how great and equal His love is for everyone: the Serbs, the Roma, and myself.

 Amy and I with our--your--Brother, Boris. His love for his countrymen and desire to know more pushes me to be hungrier for the Word.

Sister Nina's gentle, compassionate heart forces me to remember that the hopeless in a dark society can and are seeing Love.

 (Amy, Andrea, Sofia, and I) Two great gals that I got to laugh with and call friends.

Thankfully got to see Mimi before I left and pary that her heart will continue to stir for more of Him.

 Without knowing Serbian to communicate with the absolutely precious Roma children, making me useless and unnecessary, love was given and received. It's amazing how much can be communicate with a simple hug.

 Though their homes appear to be nothing like ours, their joy is overwhelmingly greater than most I see in America.

I unknowingly learned the "art of being unnecessary" [as Amy would call it] this summer. Through such I learned that it is a joy to be unnecessary and to see how much can be done because of who is in control. Ultimately, I learned of the privilege to be unnecessary because He is powerful enough to stir the hearts of unbelievers without me, powerful enough to provide for the Roma without my assistance, powerful enough to save the lost without my help.

As Paul goes on to say in 1 Corinthians 3:9, "we are G0d's co-workers. You are G0d's field, G0d's building." He gave me the opportunity to be HIS co-worker in Belgrade. He gave me the opportunity to see radical obedience lived out in several lives, learn from their wisdom, and see the Body at work. I am forever grateful for the chance to intern under a wonderful group and experience the sometimes ridiculous yet always rewarding life of Serbia.

Using my spectacular pencils already!! I'm the coolest cat around due to the great Israel family.

#MountedinAlaska #HaveYouSeenTaken #ManWithAStickFloatingInTheOcean Enough said :)

Danielle, Amy, and I---this was actually the day I landed and I was running on 24 plus hours of sleep derivation but we celebrated Danielle's birthday but due to my lack of sleep I failed to look at the camera. But two great women who taught me immensely about patience, cooking, paryer, and the power of perseverance.

I hope you find the joy and privilege of being unnecessary as I did..I definitely would not trade anything for the experiences I got to see and be apart of this summer. Though my summer may not be as exciting as other's, my time in Serbia provided me with opportunities to finally serve a group of people I heard about over five years ago, love more on a people group that has become my second home, and learn from and work along with wiser brothers and sisters that I can proudly call great friends. All well worth it!