[Hi]atus, no more

See what I did there?!

Yes, it has been almost a year to the day that I have last communicated with cyberspace. If it is any consolation, I began a draft of a blog post in February. The intention was there; the timely execution--not so much. That post will come shortly..but surely you've realized, in my absence, that you shouldn't exactly hold your breath.

In the last year, post-undergrad life lessons surfaced that I wished I had been warned about.
WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THESE THINGS?!
Maybe others are not discouraged by these issues, maybe I'm alone in this. Nonetheless, I wrangled through some experiences that you may or may not face. May you heed my warnings and find encouragement.

1--MAINTAINING friendships is DIFFICULT.
Zero people prepared me for how hard it would be to keep friendships after graduation. Yes, I was aware friends would move. However, I was so blindly unaware of the effort needed to keep up communication with loved friends. During college it was so easy. You live on the same hall or building or same town as them, and it wasn't hard to schedule coffee dates or make dinner plans or to even bump into them. But this past year, and definitely now, I am learning that maintaining friendships requires time and sacrifice. It takes time to respond to people's messages beyond the shallow answer; it takes time to schedule when it is best to call/video chat/write letters. And time takes sacrifice. You might have to sacrifice some bedtime or doing something more leisurely. You WILL [not might] sacrifice being there for monumental moments. This is a lesson I am learning too well being 800 miles away from Mississippi. I have missed/will miss out on birthday celebrations {HBD Sara!!!!}, wedding showers, and those seemingly casual but soul-gratifying moments. Maintaining friendships is hard when it seems like the other folks in your life go on without you. But as I am learning, those virtual reunions and conversations are sweet and cherished.

2--BEGINNING friendships is just as difficult.
I am going to jump right into this one: being vulnerable and honest with new people is one hard task.

 It is rough. It is challenging. It is uncomfortable. It is revealing. 

IT IS NECESSARY.

I was not prepared for making new friendships. I wish my university offered "Making friends after graduation 101." I definitely need(ed) it. No one warned me of just how easy it would be to hole up and not make new friends. I might have mastered it. If you want to know all about that, I'm your gal. But back in April I was, then, inadvertently advised for the daunting task of making new friends. My friends and I were going through Restless by Jennie Allen this past Spring and her honesty about friendships has proven correct: "Great conversations come from great questions and honest answers...It takes initiative to ask deeper questions and sheer bravery to give sincere answers." Friendships may be built on shallow commonalities, but they are most definitely sustained by being susceptible to those daring questions that require revealing the dark truths about ourselves or self-evaluation. But the Lord puts people in our life for seasons or for a lifetime for encouragement or admonition as sisters [or brothers] in Christ. If we do not know each other beyond those shallow commonalities, then how can you be exhorted or challenged. And as mentioned above, building deep friendships takes time--but the reward is well worth it. 

 

3--Balancing a budget is the PITS! 

Confession: My momma warned me that balancing a budget was necessary and hard. 

However, Momma, you didn't go into depth on how hard it would be. Guys, I'm telling you now, if you don't know this already, but balancing a budget isn't just hard but one of the most miserable things I've ever done. Balancing a budget requires intimate knowledge of your expenditures and strict dedication to keep your goals. But worse than that, you see how frivolous you are with your money. I was disgusted with my W-2 forms this tax year and how careless I had been. And more than that, it's not your money, it is God's gift and provision for you. I, wholeheartedly, believe that once you grasp that your money is not yours, you will alter your expenditures and plan for saving. Whether you use advice from financial gurus or savvy apps on your phones to keep track and maintain your budget, set a budget that is first pleasing and glorifying to God.

4--Finding a new community of believers is not easy peasy. 

This past year, I continued to attend the church I was involved with my senior year of college. But now as a resident of a new city, I am starting over. Finding a new church that you believe will allow you to best serve the body, the community, and the nations is not an easy feat. It is so easy to compare the church you are visiting with to the church you grew up in or previously attended. But that is not how it works. As Teddy Roosevelt is attributed with saying: "Comparison is the thief of joy." That truth resonates too well with me...especially in my current phase of life. I cannot get caught up in comparing churches here in Wake Forest or Raleigh with Pinelake or FABC. It will lead me to misery and disappointment. What I can compare it to is the Bible. In addition to the uneasiness of finding a new community to plug into, let's just go ahead and add being single to that. "Test driving" new churches with friends or a spouse is one thing, but doing that alone adds to the difficulty. It would be extremely easy for me to cop out and not attend a church but just watch one via simulcast, but that is selfish and denies the church of my gifts. Once again, Jennie Allen boldly challenged me in Restless--"To hide our gifts, or to deny them...it is taking from God, his church, and a world that needs to see the expression of God you bring."  Thus, whether you are single or married and new to a town, seek Guidance on where to use your gifts and be in community.

///Each of these are four life lessons I wished someone warned me about {or the severity of number 3}. Learning these from scratch have been challenging but life without challenges isn't rewarding. But do not get me wrong, I have not mastered ANY of these lessons. They are all works in progress and am daily reminded of them. Moreover, I am daily reminded that they are petitions I can bring to a loving Father who desperately wants His daughter to rely on Him for everything and find joy in Him alone.\\\

unexpected beginnings

Since January I figured after graduation I would be doing an internship for a year. Surprise! I didn't get the internship. I then basically sat around assuming everything would fall into place. Surprise! It didn't. I became embarrassed that as a near college graduate I didn't have it together. It became even more embarrassing when I was a college graduate and did not have it together. {if any of this seems cynical, it's on purpose. I want you understand that I was cynical. In fact, I was in denial that I would suddenly find a job or figure out my next move.} To my disbelief and unbelief, the Lord began opening doors and opportunities. All of a sudden I had options.

Which route did I take, you might ask? A new co-worker at the daycare told me of a possible opening at her non-summer job. It was a long shot. The job wasn't even listed online. Summer was nearly over, which means positions should have been filled. This might be cliche but it's the truth: my prayer became Your Will, Your Way. {still wondering; keep reading}  When I got an email for an interview, my chances were not as slim but still not a given. To help my odds, I sought guidance about dress and interview q's from those in this profession. Evaluating the interview, I thought it went great and figured it was in the bag. I waited by my phone the day they said they notify me. I felt like a smitten teenager constantly checking my phone for service and emails. I'm going to admit that my heart sank when I didn't get called or emailed. Regardless, my prayer still had to be the same. I was irritated that things were becoming reachable realities and then halted. Surprise! {3 days later} A simple phone call would let me know if this possibility continued onward or ceased. 

Surprise! How He blessed me. And more importantly taught me how to trust that He will provide for me, He will not fail , He will not neglect...but I also learned that I cannot sit on my couch not pulling my weight of the deal, of the applications, or the faith. {almost done; keep reading} I did one week of training and preparation to learn the ropes as much as possible, and now I have completed THREE full weekS at my new job. Yet, that first week of prep work wouldn't compare to what would come the following Monday.  

{REVEAL TIME!} 

Nothing or no one could brace me for the TWENTY-SEVEN kindergartners who now keep me busy, overwhelmed, and overjoyed. {You read correctly. That's not a keyboard error.} I have the pleasure of being a teacher assistant at the local elementary school. Those who know me know I have always said that I didn't want to teach in the States. {Technically, I'm not teaching. Nonetheless, I'm in the classroom.} I have always found it amazing how God can alter one's heart after surrender. Now at this stage of life, I could not see me doing an internship or having any other job than where I am. The 27 youngins have quickly captivated my heart and have taught me lessons parallel to how patient God is with me and my mistakes and how ceaseless His love is. In this unexpected beginning, I have found a place to serve, a place to give back, and a place to invest in mold-able children. 


“Most people want to be circled by safety, not by the unexpected. The unexpected can take you out. But the unexpected can also take you over and change your life. Put a heart in your body where a stone used to be.”

-Ron Hall, author of Same Different Kind of Me

 

different kind of summer

In an earlier post, I wrote about how excited I was to live with three other girls and the hopeful fellowship and work full time at the daycare for the summer. Shortly after that post, a lot changed. And in one day I had to learn that despite people's stupidity and my reliance upon said people and cars, I have no control and should not try to have control over my circumstances or life. Instead, the control is all His.

{Here's the story. I also still don't find it funny like folks say when they look back at the then not-so-funny stories}

While a friend and I were preparing to leave Canton Flea Market, my car wouldn't start. The gear shift was disabled forcing the car to be stuck in neutral. While all of these went on, I got a message saying that a roommate backed out. This would force rent to go up. And in true domino effect, the higher rent forced another gal to drop out of summer leasing, which made the rent even higher. Needless to say, that day wasn't good. But as a mechanic temporarily fixed the car to be in Drive, I was blessed by my friend and her prayers, strangers' willingness to help, and family doing every thing in their might to get me home. 

So I didn't get the fellowship I initially thought I would find this summer. Instead the Lord provided fellowship through a co-worker and her daughters. It wasn't something I was looking for but was a gift that the Lord provided and boy did He know I needed it.

This summer also gave me the opportunity to have quality time with my brother and roomie. Lauren and I spontaneously decided to join my brother in Omaha to cheer on MSU for the College World Series Championship games. I am more thankful for those two days especially with Nicholas than I am for all the years since he moved off to college. Those two days gave me the chance to hang out with my brother in a different setting than we have ever had before and have quality brother/sister bonding time.

Do we even look related?

Why not go to Omaha?!

Moreover, this summer I had to grow up and get a big girl J-O-B and obtain more adult responsibilities. The next post will be about my job. :) I will go ahead and share that within the three weeks of turning in my job application and interviewing and waiting to hear back, He provided housing and dear friends who fervently prayed for the Lord's will over my life. These are my new roommates. Granted, I'm taking the place

of the lady {EB} to the far left and the gal in the middle back {Tera} is in France for the semester and as of yesterday the lady to the far right {Jenelle} is engaged! I've dearly loved the past three weeks filled with family time despite our crazy schedules, laughter at the expense of myself, memorable life events, and looked forward to the next year with them! 

EB, myself, Tera, Sara, Jenelle, and Meg in front center.

Obviously, this summer has been much different than my past three summers but still rewarding. No, I didn't work a camp or live in Europe for two months, but I did have great fellowship with new friends, made solid memories with old friends, and saw and am still seeing the Lord lead and provide each step.